Why I’m Writing This (And Why You Should Follow Along)

Documenting the messy process of bringing a surreal horror novel to life

Writing books has always been such a crazy experience, and I’ve been doing it for over twelve years!

But I swear self-publishing is a whole new level of chaos.

I’m doing it anyway, of course.

Hi, I’m Beatrice Lebrun, but please call me Bea. I’m an author and illustrator who is deep in the process of bringing my debut novel, Glowrot, to life. It’s a surreal queer horror story about obsession, identity, and losing yourself in the dark, all wrapped up in neon-lit fever dreams and liminal spaces. Imagine a mix of Alice in Wonderland, Requiem for a Dream, and your worst nightmares.

I wanted to create this journal to share the raw, behind-the-scenes process of self-publishing. To be honest, I'm just being vulnerable with whoever wants to hear.

I’m talking about everything: the highs, the lows, the creative breakthroughs, and the moments where I feel like breaking my monitor screen. This isn’t a polished guide to self-publishing success, it’s a real-time account of the messy journey I’m on.

I’ve found that most of the time, people only post pretty things on social media, perfectly curated realities that are so unattainable that they make others feel like lesser beings. I have to be honest; I’ve been a victim of believing many of them, and my self-esteem has suffered as a result.

Here, you’ll find my internal thoughts, the things that make me tick as a writer, my creative struggles, and my inspirations. I’ll also share character illustrations, story insights, and reflections on what it means to pour so much of myself into Glowrot.

So, why should you even follow along? Maybe you’re a writer too, figuring out your own creative process. Maybe you’re curious about what it’s really like to self-publish. Or maybe you just love stories that get under your skin, like me!

Either way, I’d love to have you here, joining me as I navigate this wild, weird adventure. Let’s see where this takes us.

Welcome to the journey.

Let’s glow, and rot, together!